Sad

“Ma’am!” It wasn’t a shout exactly, but it was loud enough for me and everyone else in line to hear. “Head over to lane 6 please.”

But there was no kindness in the please. Startled I made my way over, thinking maybe the cashier was about to go on break. The line she had directed me to was twice as long. Once there another gentleman oddly offered me his spot in line but I wasn’t in any hurry so I waved him on with my thanks. Kindness should always be thanked.

Now having lots of time I looked back at the original cashier, watching for her to turn her register light off, but it did t happen. More people got in her line which cycled through twice before I got to the front of mine.

Meanwhile, my cashier was disgusted. He knew what was happening and was quick to apologize. Only then did I look at her; mid fifties and unpleasant disposition.

It’s been a few years since I’ve been discriminated against, and now that’s twice in 2 days. Yesterday a woman at a restaurant shook her head at me and said “so mannish”. I guess the haircut is doing what I feared it would do, it’s like a neon light for those close minded enough to look saying LESBIAN. People don’t have to guess or find out the fun way anymore, they just know.

I could get angry, tell her manager, tell all my friends to avoid that store. But she looks like a grandmother and her sour expression speaks of rough times. I could blame Trump for creating a culture where it is social acceptable and encouraged to discriminate against minorities.

Instead I am just sad. What if instead of me she had done this to a teenager? A young girl with low self esteem who finally found a haircut and look that made her feel comfortable in her skin, only to be discriminated against in such an obvious and public manner. Instead I’m a 34 year old lesbian with slightly better self esteem who is just sad. Sad for the woman and any damage she has or will end up doing to the people around her who are struggling just as she is.

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