I Can’t Even Cry

I feel betrayed by my parents generation, by my sex, my heritage, my community, my generation, and my country.

But I can’t cry

I’m a deployed soldier sitting in the dfac watching my worst nightmare happen and I can’t cry.

They’re celebrating all around me, talking about family memebers they swayed to their side.

One even said he couldn’t believe “a gun loving state like Pa could be so liberal” 

As if that was all that mattered.

I can’t get drunk and embrace my loved ones.

I can’t get angry and throw things or correct all the wrong stupid things being said around me. I can’t start a fight. I can’t leave. I can’t take a sick day and stay in bed. 

I’m a soldier.

And I can’t cry.

I can’t let them see what this means to me, how as a Hispanic, lesbian, female I am terrified for what bigotry will be directed at my minorities, what will be allowed to happen if the kkk’s candidate wins. If Russia’s candidate wins. If Pence wins.

I can’t breath

What have we done?

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One thought on “I Can’t Even Cry

  1. Pingback: Surviving the Day | Adult Flavored Chaos

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